New Year’s Resolutions
Did you set a resolution this year?
If so, how’s it going for you?
Still feeling motivated?
If not, you’re not alone.
There’s a reason why the gyms get so crowded this time of year. Everyone is so excited to get their goal of loosing weight, feeling better etc. that they hit the gyms hard in January..and also maybe February..and then we start to talk ourselves out of it..like it’s too hard..or I don’t need to go today..and then we fall off the workout wagon..feel crappy about ourselves and carry on with our old ways.
trust me, I’ve been there, right there with you.
This is called human nature and it’s a very predictable pattern every year. I have witnessed this for myself and for all of the patients over the years that have been so kind and honest as to share their resolutions with me.
And I pick working out and the gyms as just one example since it’s such a common resolution. By March the gym is a mere memory and all of the gym regulars are actually excited about this because they get their gym space back, so not all is lost.
I’m a resolution maker, goal maker..etc..just like you. I think it’s good for us to make resolutions or commitments to ourselves to improve the one very precious fabulous life here on planet Earth.
However last year I did something that seemed almost revolutionary to me and I want to share it with you. I was much more consistent with my goals or resolutions than I had ever been in the past. I had more success last year with my goals than I had had in the past and I want that for you too.
Through multiple avenues I was introduced to the work of Danielle La Porte. Have you heard of her? She’s from Canada and has been working on these concepts for a very long time.
Her focus is on feelings and figuring out our core desired feelings so we can experience more of the feelings that we crave, that we want to have.
She has written many books and I don’t find it necessary to read and research everything she’s done in order to participate in this concept. It’s one more excuse we have right…”well I haven’t read the book yet so I can’t participate yet.” It’s not that hard and you can just dive in.
Danielle was setting out her new years resolutions one year with her partner, when she realized that so often we set these goals and resolutions and we “accomplish” them and yet are still left feeling empty and seeking more of something.
For example: This year I’m going to take my family on a nice vacation to Hawaii. Have you heard this one before? Often times the family trip to Hawaii turns out to be a nightmare and you come home needing a vacation from the vacation.
Instead turn it around:
How about: I want to feel more connected to my family this year. Rather than trying to force that connection on one trip to Hawaii, I want to feel more connected on a more frequent basis. I am going to connect with my 7 year old by doing weekly puzzles with her. I am going to connect with my 2 year old by finger painting with her. I am going to connect with my husband by going fishing with him.
Of course the trip to Hawaii could be great and will be great if the connection is there first, right?
Another example: This year I want to loose 10 pounds.
I’d like to challenge you to think about why? Why do you want to loose 10 pounds? How will this improve your life? How will it feel to loose 10 pounds? Staring at a scale everyday and fixating on the numbers often times leaves us feeling worse about ourselves as we base our worth somehow on these silly numbers.
Instead turn it around:
How about: I want to feel fit and strong. When I challenge myself physically I feel accomplished, productive, nurtured, relaxed, peaceful, mentally focused etc…
We we start to feel more of these feelings that we want to feel then those silly 10 pounds don’t seem to matter…the weight will come off and even more than you imagined might come off because you are fixating on the feelings the work-out creates rather than the silly numbers..
Anyways…this is just an idea… might not hurt to play around with it..
The other piece I’d like to add in is a phrase I used a lot last year and find that it continue to serve me well this year..is “
Success is Scheduled
Anything you want to have success at , like your resolution, must be scheduled in your planner. Put it on repeat week after week. You have to pick the priority (not a bunch of priorities). Set yourself up for success by picking ONE priority…now I have to admit this was super hard for me. I’m used to (my comfort level) is prioritizing others…my kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my patients etc..To prioritize me, something just for me, seemed incredibly selfish..it actually took me about 3 weeks to break through and realize no, when I prioritize myself then I am more present, more focused, more peaceful in my interactions with my kids and husband, family, friends and patients..The one priority I chose was exercise. Now my week is scheduled around 3 swim practices. I like to swim with others so I had to compromise and go with already scheduled practices with folks I enjoy swimming with. These 3 time blocks during my week are non-negotiable, unless I am sick or out of town. Family time and patient care are scheduled around these 3 time blocks..While at first this was hard for me to do, nearly a year later I can say that I am swimming harder and faster than I imagined. I am fitter than I imagined I would be at this point and have the added benefit of being physically stronger with greater lung capacity, and endurance…all of which come in handy when raising small children.. (I had to a carry (like a straight jacket) a tantrum-ing 2 year old out of the athletic club the other day and was proud of my calm, strong resilience emotionally and physically which I attribute to my swim work out earlier in the day.) My family and patients have benefited from me being more calm, peaceful, present and in sum HAPPY. All of these stack up to say…when you prioritize yourself you are a better human because you are experiencing more joy, repeatedly, more joy!
What would your life looked like if you repeatedly experienced more JOY?
What will your ONE priority be? for just you?
Maybe you can turn your resolution into a priority so you can feel more of what you want to feel?
Just an idea…